Yes, that time of year is approaching where we love parts of it and dread others. It is the season of family and friends, food and fun, gatherings galore, shopping and cooking, and so much more. All of the madness can wear on you—especially for those who are also burdened with other events and tragedies. I know because I was laid off last November, right before Thanksgiving, after 19 years of employment with the same company. Live and learn. Stuff happens and you frequently don’t get to choose the best time for it either.

I’ve reviewed numerous resources offering tips in dealing with holiday stress and liked this one from the Mayo Clinic. Here’s the link. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/MH00030/NSECTIONGROUP=2

Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression

When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

Take control of the holidays

Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.

I want to particularly emphasize points 3 (Be realistic), 6 (Plan ahead) and 8 (Don’t abandon healthy habits). You can only do what you can and afford to do. Your true friends and family will understand and they don’t expect perfection either. It is far better to enjoy the company of those dear to you than to rely on any gift to convey their significance. Planning gift giving, shopping and parties (along with everyone’s part in it) can really help to ease the burden. Whatever you do, don’t hang up the gym shoes for a New Year’s resolution. You will feel better and enjoy and appreciate the season a lot more if you stick with your exercise and nutritional plan on most days. Then you can allow yourself to enjoy those family and friend celebrations without guilt and feeling ‘blah’.

I’ll add one more tip. Expect the unexpected. Whether you are a Murphy’s Law follower or have just lived long enough, you know that unexpected things will happen—someone you don’t like will show up, you’ll get an unanticipated gift from an acquaintance, you’ll forget something or someone, and so on. Don’t let things get to you. Most things aren’t as bad as we think at first. Keep your confidence. Keep your cool. It’s not the end of the world.

*** MAHALO to all of you who have completed the general health survey. Thanks to all of you, we are well on our way to 500 responses! (Hooray!) For those who haven’t done it, I invite you to participate, tell your friends and help Build a Healthy Hawaii. Please visit my website www.lifefitnet.com. It is a short 12-question online survey that should take only 2-3 minutes to complete. Mahalo for your support!  Lori

Tags: health, holidays, mind, spirit, stress management, Thanksgiving, wellness

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 18th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.